Saturday, December 08, 2012

Everyone Has an Opinion

As you can probably tell, I've not been blogging much.  I sit down to blog, write a few things, then delete them.  I've recently lost the respect of some people I cared about because they don't like how I blog or what I blog about, and the net result is I'm afraid of my own words now. 

Art by Obsolete World

I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking and wondering.  Today I ran across this article that was perfectly timed, and I wanted to share it, as it hit me hard -- in a good way.

It's an awesome article for anyone who's making life changes and tells how to safeguard yourself against opinions that can damage.  I hope you'll take some time to read it -- it's not long and really, really good.

I've learned a lot of things this year, and I'm absorbing it all and hopefully will be able to make more positive changes in my thinking.  Therapy helps a LOT.  I've learned that a friend doesn't necessarily have to be physically in my neighborhood, but can be an online friend, or a distant friend I haven't seen in years.  And it's better to have no friends or family at all than to constantly be wondering why I'm not good enough for respect, empathy, or understanding.  I have my husband and son and they are indeed the best things that have ever happened to me.  There is such a thing as unconditional love.

Really, I wish I had been able to write that article -- it's so very perfect.  I am 100% responsible for how I feel about my life, so I'm 100% responsible for who I allow in it and what I allow to bother me. Friends, family, co-workers -- they can be toxic or hurt us with passive aggressive (or just plain aggressive!) words, but we don't have to take it.  It's up to any of us to decide whether a relationship is fixable or not.  Just don't wait so long to decide that you end up hurting your own feelings.

Light shining through clouds outside my home.

Next year is going to be a banner year.  I can feel it.  With all the changes I'm making now, the things I'm tentatively exploring and the things I'm rapidly embracing, there's no way it can't be.  My word for the year IS "metamorphosis", after all.  

I think I'm ready to break out of that chrysalis.


Lori Anderson creates jewelry and bead kits as well as collaborative mixed media art with her son, Zack.  Visit her shops by clicking here.  She is also the creator of the Bead Soup Blog Party®   and author of the book Bead Soup.


  1. I love that word! & am SO happy to hear you're doing well. Big hugs to you!

  2. Anonymous2:35 PM

    GREAT article! Not only for the person that is making a change, but for the person that receives the info from someone that is wanting to make a change in their life. Thank you for sharing. Blessings for you in the upcoming year!

    Lisa Staten

  3. Good points all. It is very good to be discerning about the opinions of others,and even/especially our thoughts about their opinions. I used to find my definition of who I am in others, but not now. I would have to say that I have Jesus to thank for that as knowing him, hearing his word and receiving his gifts are parts of his changing me. It is really important to know that we are loved deeply and truly and that we were made to be unique. Here's to continued growth in learning your real value and knowing real love. Many many blessings on your journey.

  4. Oh Lori. I am so, so sorry. One of my favorite writers, Sarah Bessey, tweeted something just this last week that seems appropriate here: "If I got hung up on every person who disagreed or disliked, unsubscribed or unfollowed, I'd probably lose my mind, my focus, and my voice."

    You have a voice, Lori. You have vision and a mission and passion and a huge heart, and this blog and your art are both extensions of that. The fact is that you have been hugely influential in the jewelry world, and people whose lives you've touched (either online or in real life) are going to feel a little bit like you belong to them - because you mean something powerful to them, for good or ill. And along with that, sometimes, comes the feeling that they somehow get a say.

    They don't. Opinions that you seek out from people you respect and who can be creative and constructive in offering their thoughts are one thing. You don't owe the rest of us one darn thing. Not one darn thing.

    So focus on what you are led to do and to say. Continue to be your authentic, generous, flawed, powerful, creative self. And let the naysayers find their own vision and voice and stop trying to tell you what to do with yours.

    Sending you love. <3

  5. So happy you are moving forward with positivity! It can be so sad and upsetting to lose friends in such circumstances, but if they don't like you for who you are, then they were never true friends in the first place. Sad but true. And there are many of us who do love you for being you!

  6. When we give so much of ourselves to others, it's so easy to let in unnecessary criticism, which turns to self-doubt. I think I am finally learning that the only one I need to make happy is myself, and as long as I am doing that in a loving way that doesn't harm others, all is well. Also, I've found that success breeds jealousy, even in those people we hold close...and you are a wonderful success and role model to so many! Keep focusing on the positive! Become the butterfly!

  7. Here's to a great 2013 with lots of personal growth and new journeys!

  8. What a gift you gave to me and the timing could not be better as I am going through something similar. You have brought education, beauty, inspiration, creativity and so much more into my life. You don't have over 2,000 followers for nothing. Thank you for your blog, sharing and the link to the article. You have helped me today, thank you. Wishing you peace and joy through art. - Marlene

  9. (((hugs))) First of all - if someone does not like how you blog or what you write about, why are they reading your posts. Sounds like someone who does not have a life of their own, so spends their time criticizing someone else.
    I also like the word metamorphosis - I may need to make that my word for the upcoming new year!
    Hope you are doing well and enjoying the holidays. I need to get in gear and get some shopping done.
    Hope you are enjoying your weekend.

  10. I've learned along the way of my health journey that there are definitely some people that are toxic and whom end up keeping you down. Those are the people you really CAN'T afford to keep in your life!

    It's amazing how the universe gives us things JUST as we need them like that article you found :)

  11. I have been careful of my words for a while as well...I've got a feeling that is about to change! Speak on my online friend!

  12. Tina- CreatedWithFire3:09 PM

    I am glad you found yourself in this article, as artist we rely on the input of others for "bless" our work. But remember being an artist is an self expression of YOUR worth with your words and your output. Just chill and enjoy the ride ;-)

  13. Another post full of YAY! I always find your posts to speak truth, and usually about something I need at that time. Again - you didn't disappoint. You should never have to apologize for speaking YOU.
    And I think 2013 is going to be a great year for creative minds everywhere. Glad to hear you're on the mend...

  14. "There is such a thing as unconditional love" -- thank you for reminding us, for giving so generously, for being you, for coming back to blog again, and then again, not giving up -- courageously -- until those of us who resonate with your sweet loving energy get to jump up and run to read, knowing the precious gift of connection, getting to be uplifted, to share in the true gifts of life's journey: appreciation for all we are!

    you rock Lori Anderson!

    xxoo rita

  15. Oh, Lori, I am happy you decided to embrace who you are and recognize the poisonous words for what they are!
    People's opinion about you and what you do are just that: their opinion! The article is, indeed, perfect: Remember You're the only one that matters!
    Love & hugs :)

  16. I have a friend who got divorced a couple of years ago. I was amazed at how many "friends" she had who felt they were qualified to judge her marriage and tell her what an awful person she was. I don't think we should ever assume we know better than someone about their situation. I think if you can't say something supportive, then just shut up :-)

    I'm glad to hear you are going to ignore the negative and move ahead with the positive. Here's to a wonderful 2013!

  17. I was wondering why you hadn't been here very much lately - sorry it is because of insensitive comments made by others. Sometimes I just shake my head at the human race and wonder what makes some people tick. Please know that there are so many more people here who just love your blog and what you have to say - "me" for one!
    With nothing but good wishes,

  18. Hi Lori, that was a great article. Thankyou. It is incredibly lonely when we aren't supported by the people around us. And it does mess with your thoughts. One minute you are incredibly happy about what you are doing and how you are growing...then a comment from a friend just stops you in your tracks.
    I live in a city of about 11,000 and my 100th follower was only the 2nd one from here...I traveled 550km and was acknowledge for my online work.
    My online and blogging friends give me so much support. I know that I only have to ask a question and 10 people will be there in a heartbeat with advice and help.
    I totally agree that someone elses negativity says everything about them...and nothing about you at all. How you deal with it though becomes important. Stay true to yourself, do what makes you happy and enjoy the friendship and enjoy the support of who you come across online.
    Dot x

  19. I am so glad that you are blogging again. And remember NO friend is qualified to tell you what you can or cannot think or write. If they feel that they are then they are judgmental and no real friend.


  20. I really enjoyed reading your blog. It is ironic that it came at a time in my life when I had to cut close family out of my life. Very sad but sometimes we have to do such things to preserve our own happiness in life. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in having to do something like this. :)

  21. Lori, you have helped me by sharing your thoughts and feelings several times. It is serendipity (for me, at least ) that we are having the same thoughts and feelings right now, this day. I feel blessed to get your posts in my inbox, plain and simple. Fear has been my 'friend' for a while now and I am as tired of living with it in my house as you seem to be.
    We all need to consider ourselves in order to consider others - we aren't the only ones who matter in our lives, but we can choose. I am here to tell you from experience that it is incredibly difficult to try to stand alone without care for how others intersect our lives. By standing outside, it becomes easier see the crap that some people pull, but that can sap or destroy your hope and faith in others.
    Thank you so much for your courage. Thank you even more for lending your strength to all of us by writing what you feel. It makes hope and faith in humanity much easier to hold on to.

  22. I used to care so much about other peoples opinions, mainly because I thought that these people were perhaps more educated than me, had more life experience etc, one such example springs to mind which I so wish I'd listened to my own heart, I'd split up with a man who had made my life hell for 3 years, and moved in with my parents, he hassled me for ages, and in the end began to wear me down, but I was still unsure, my mum said to me "it seems a shame to waste three years, perhaps you give it another try", feeling vulnerable and worn out I took this advice, and a month later this man tried to kill me. This is an extreme example I know, but it just goes to show that no one, not even family can know what's right for you.
    Nowadays I'm more inquisitive, I tend to question almost every opinion I hear, and nearly always go my own way, if people think I'm aloof well that's their problem, if I make a mistake well at least I can say I made it my self and learn from it, that article is spot on we as individuals can be the only ones that know what's right for us, and that knowledge is empowering.

  23. It's your blog and you can write about whatever you want to. Anyone who criticizes is being rude -- it's akin to them coming into your house and wiping mud on your living room rug.

    I'm always happy to read whatever you choose to share with us. :-)

  24. Shame on those fair-weather friends! Life is not a bed of roses but some think we should act as if it is. I can't stand those Pollyannas because by their judgement, they make me feel bad about myself. So who needs them anyway!?! No me and not you.

    I hope that 2013 brings you your heart's desires!

  25. I really hope that you see me as a distant online friend. I love reading your blogs and getting glimpses into your life and what is going on around you. I hope that all is well and from what I can guess you have an inner strength that will shine on through. The article was great and helped put some things in perspective for me as well, I once thought that if people didn't comment on my blog that it was something I did and maybe I shouldn't bother but then I realized that mostly I blog for me, I enjoy the act of blogging and it is a creative release for me. I am glad I follow you and I so look forward to each comment you make (so glad you're back). Good luck with your new year and new you and know that there are a lot of us out here who think you rock!!

  26. That is a very good link you posted. And I thank you for that. You are absolutely right to take control of how you let things into your life. Loss is hard to deal with but I think it's even harder to try to figure out how to live up to and conform to other's expectations. Here's to a banner year and metamorphisis!

  27. I'm so glad that you are back. I was worried that you were having health issues when you were so silent. The article that you just posted was very correct.You shouldn't worry that someone might not like what you say, because you can't please everyone. You are one on the most genuine people who's blogs I read regularly. There are so many of us readers that you have helped with your words, that if you loose some nay-sayers along the way you haven't lost much. Just think of all that you have accomplished and keep looking forward toward your goals not back at negative people. I wish you the best in the next year.

  28. I love not only what was in the article, but also what Francesca said. She brought up a very good point for me...that when you impact someone's life, they feel that they have a say in yours. That really made me think, because you have been such a huge influence in my life. I've told you before how much my life has changed because of Bead Soup Blog Party. So, I do hope as well that I am one of the people you consider to be an online friend, because you matter to me. I really, really look forward to the day I get to meet you in person. I'm glad you are such a strong person, that you can see past a person's ugliness, and move on from it. Much love to you, Shirley

  29. Best wishes for a better 2013! I appreciate all that you do to make beading fun . I have learned a lot from your blog and blog hops.

  30. Lori, so sorry someone or several someones have hurt you in this way. I for one love all your posts, one of the best things about your style is that a bunch of us out here feel we are reading about someone who is real. I learned the hard way a long time ago that each of us is responsible for our own happiness, and cannot "make" others happy if they are not. So, be true to you and blog on my blog friend :).

  31. "The truly hateful comments? Feel free to ignore them. Yes, they hurt, and yes, you will remember them, but they are not about you. They reflect the personality of the person who spews them. Do not try to explain yourself to a hater. Your explanation will make them feel wrong, and the bad behavior will escalate. A wise boss once said to me, “Do not get off the high road to wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty, and the pig will enjoy it.” Hard as it is, do not reply. Do not explain. Do not defend. There is a dignity in silence."
    I read that on another blog a long time ago and saved it. I'm sorry you have had to put up with this. You have a wonderful blog and I always enjoy reading it. I wonder why people don't realize the world and it's contents don't need to be ordered according to their desires - it's unfortunate they can't just go quietly away.
    I like your word and love your post and am going now to read the article. Take care,


  32. Kelli Nelson10:48 PM

    By the looks of the comments and the people that DO SUPPORT YOU, there is no room left for the TOXIC people!!!

    I also had to cut all ties I had with my "best-friend" her negativity drained the LIFE out of me. I have finally started to realize how much happier I am with out her in my life. I have so many supportive people, that were always here just hiding themselves from the NEGATIVE I had in my life!!!

    You are A TRUE inspiration to me and ALOT of other POSITIVE People...Keep being YOU that is what we all LOVE!!!!

    Kelli Nelson

  33. I'll be short & sweet(well maybe not so sweet)
    ~Screw 'em~
    love ya

  34. My opinion? You are fabulous!

  35. Hugs Lori~~You are a joy to so many of us. The downers can carry too much weight with me too.
    So grateful for the article link. "Energy Bubble"---I LOVE it!

  36. 'the way they react is a reflection of *them,* not you~' oh, how i need that tattooed on my palm. seriously. i *always* forget that. i'm so sensitive, am so beyond willing to take the blame for things. there's a joke in my house; if becca makes a silly mistake i say, 'i'm sorry, that was my fault. because *everything* is always bethie's fault. and becca never makes a mistake because becca is perfect.' i say it as a joke, and everyone plays along, but honestly? that's truly how i feel.

    i'm so darn proud of you for being open, honest, and transparent about your personal journey through the difficult times you're experiencing. i so connect with your life story. and i'm totally drawn to genuine people. you're one of them. you're truly a pearl, lori. i want to encourage you to keep going for the hard stuff. the people who criticize you for your journey just don't belong in your life now. you're obviously growing past their own shortcomings. i really, really hate that you're dealing with self-doubt and heartache because of their bad behavior. let it go. you're made for the sky, sister. soar on past the haters. fly free. <3

  37. Thank you for the link about opinions, and yes, I have one! There are so many blogs I read, but some (like Pretty Things) I read every post! That's my choice...just like the movies I see or the books I read or the music I listen to or the TV shows I watch. Please don't be afraid of your own words. That's what makes you unique and interesting! As you can see, there are many people that enjoy your shared thoughts. By the way, I didn't comment on that last Cup of Beads Soup necklace you made, but I LOVED it! Those wire wrapped turquoise beads and the coils you used as spacers were ingenious! Keep the good designs coming! Wishing you the highest good for all concerned.

  38. People can have their opinions about everything in the world, but people's opinions end where the tip of my nose begins.

  39. I LOVE that article, thank you.

    Very glad you are posting again.


  40. Joan Pierce8:14 AM

    Well said! I don't know you and yet I look forward to reading your blog on a regular basis. I am pretty new to blogging and often struggle with the "how to say it". These is not tone to a text, email, etc. the tone in up to the reader period. I find I can say something really nice and a reader can take that tone to mean something completely different. Keep your head up! People have options in life and the ones that don't like what you say have the option not to read it and probably should move on to someone elses blog, I just hope it is not mine! Thanks for a great blog and everything wonderful you do!

  41. Another great post and thank you for linking us to the article! Energy bubbles work... another exercise that works is before you head out where you may come across Negative Nancy's take a minute, close your eyes and picture yourself surrounded by nothing but white *you are smiling and happy of course). Then surround yourself with "shiny" - the shiny will reflect the negativity back at the naysayer.

    Speaking of how things pop up at just the right time... I was reading through the comments thinking, if Lori posted one of those poo poo comments here I think the person would get clobbered - the next comment I read was from Jillayne about not rolling in mud with the pigs - LOL!

    Here's to you shiny Lori. Be well ~~T

  42. Great post Lori & I love the link you sent. It so reminds me of what happened to me about 4 years ago. Up until then, I felt like I was on a roll writing for a magazine & winning a few competitions...then at a Cheesecake Factory down in Cincinnati one of my Guild sisters told me something that about devasted me. She told me that some of the other members think I was bragging too much and that i needed to stop or else they would ban me. Really? I couldn't believe that these women who originally pushed me and applauded my accomplishments were so jealous that they would kick me out of the Guild! It hurt me so bad that I stopped telling people what I was doing, I stepped back & almost let my creative Muse come to a stand still because of the malicious words. Then finally finally my beading friends online jumped in and told me to keep achieving and not listen to the sour grapes of my local guild. It was so hard to let all those women go who I thought were my friends, but when my husband became seriously ill two years ago, these same women who I helped over and over again never came or offered to help me. Only three actually came through showing me that I had three true friends with my local Guild. But the outpouring from my online beading community and from my Scottie friends from +25 years made me forget the twice heart broke pain from these locals. At that point, I decided to distance myself from those who were only lip service friends and embrace people who like me weren't afraid to shout out my joy and accomplishments. It is hard to say good bye to old friends (or shall I say what I thought to be friends) but as we age we change as some never do. And as we change we embrace those who change and take that same journey with us, and find new people who get on that same bus and enjoy the ride for all its worth.

  43. Beth Bricker10:38 AM

    Perfect Post!

  44. Anonymous11:01 AM

    A very serious article with great advice. A serious topic. I'm going to take a moment and inject some native wisdom about "unconditional love". There is an old saying........"When you SIT on a rattlesnake, THAT's when you find out who your real friends are." Sounds silly until you think about what must be done if one is bitten by a rattlesnake. How many are willing to get to the "bottom" of the problem with you? It sorts out the true friends in a heartbeat. That said, this is your blog and your "story". EAch of us writes their own story in this world. My thoughts are, if one does not like the story, put the book down. Quietly, with no judgement. It's their loss. You struggle, we all struggle. The energy of the world is shifting right now. The Mayans were right. We are moving to the edge of a new world. Some are un-nerved by this, the rest will change their energy, their lives. Keep on Lori. Your journey along a rough road is your own but your courage to write about it inspires others. Your word for the year is a good one. Mine is SOAR! That is what happens when the caterpillar morphs out of his cocoon and finds out he is now a butterfly!

  45. i liked Francesca's comment..
    people are entitled to their own opinion's but they don't get a say to your life..even if you ask someone's opinion you are not obligated to take's like release what's unwanted..
    here's wishing you a brighter, less stressful year in 2013.

  46. Can I please second ( or is it third or fourth by now?) what Francesca said? It takes tremendous courage to write as honestly as you do. I find you an inspiration, both in beading and in how you give of yourself so generously to support others... You, Lori Anderson, are a gem of a human being. I surely hope I get to meet you one day!

  47. Very nice post! I, too, am looking forward to 2013. I love your blog, don't let anyone get you down.

  48. your blog is your way of expression and writing about cannot lose someones respect if that is what you are writing about. we choose to read what you have to say because we like it, think you have clue about what you are talking about and/or want to hear what you are doing. it is our choice to read your words. those 'other' people just don't have to follow your blog anymore.

    i have looked often to see if you posted but cannot comment at work so have not. glad you are back and don't be afraid to be who you are. I have a hard time getting my mind around that because, with me, there are no games, i say what i think AND mean. I apologize if I hurt someones feelings by accident.

    your blog is just that...YOURS. be true to that and yourself.

    ok, I am done now

  49. Hi,
    I have just found your blog and I think it's wonderful. I suffer greatly from worrying about what other people think of me. My husband is a very confident person and he has helped me a lot. One thing he always says to me is that I should not concentrate on how the person is making me feel (e.g. unhappy, shy, angry) but ask myself why are they doing that. Usually the answer is THEY are jealous, or the unhappy ones or lacking confidence and trying to drag me down to their level. I have only just started to blog and was so pleased to find all the wonderful things you are doing to bring people together.

    Keep going!

  50. I just joined your blog and have loved it all! I am a horrible writer and I started blogging..don't don't like what I write about..well..that's Keep your chin up! its so true people can bring you down..if you let them! And sometimes they aren't even aware.

  51. I love the accountability you take in your post about your feelings and reactions to others opinions. You are right, you can't be responsible for what others think about what you write. And not everyone needs to read what you write if they don't like it.

    You always hope that people will act with respect and kindness, but sometimes those that are friends and family think that familiarity doesn't need those things.

    I have a friend that used to say that being a family means not having to apologize. I don't believe that at all. I think the forgiveness may be more easily given but the apology is even more important than with a stranger.

    You are absolutely correct, 2013 is going to be great. I am focusing on how to make it a year of kindness and gratitude. A friend and I are trying to find a way to document and share kindness and gratitude as a reminder that the world (specifically the people in it) is predominately good.

    Thank you for sharing your words. I appreciate what you have to say. I love your beady, craftiness; but I love your mind and soul too.

  52. Lori,

    I have noticed you missing from the blogging world. I love reading your blog, in my busy life I have very little free time and your blog is the one that I choose to check regularly.

    It's nice to know that there are real people left out there,people with daily struggles,great joys,words of wisdom and amazing talent! you put yourself out there for us your readers,the true you.

    Not everyone's life is all rainbows and unicorns,but you push on and I want to thank you for sharing it with us.

    I asked my, sweet as honey, son if I could share a little about his struggles here and the advice I give to him and he told me that if it will help that it's okay for me to do so.

    My son is 11 and is super sized for his age he is 5'7" tall and is a pretty stocky boy. He also suffers from health ailments,a mild learning disability and fine motor coordination issues. He used to,and occassionaly still does, get down on himself because he's bigger,towers over most kids his age, and does have learning issues. As a parent it is heartbreaking to hear him talk down about himself.
    My words of wisdom to him are, how boring would the world be if we were all exactly the same?? It's our differences that make the world so interesting. God made us exactly what he wanted us to be, we are all made in his likeness. We all have strengths and weaknesses that we must come to accept. Those who don't accept us are not worthy of our time or energy.
    He makes me very proud to be his mother,as he is kind,caring,clever,humorous,respectful and never gives up.

    And this being said I am glad to be a reader and follower of your blog and am so very happy that you did not let some negative Nelly's bring you down!!

    ~Maria Rosa

  53. Welcome back! Look at all the positive comments you have gotten. This post is great! So glad you found out that you have 100% choice in your response to others. There will be all kinds of people around, but you can still be happy no matter what they do. My favorite saying is " peace amidst the storm" I strive to be able to have peace within although things appear to be negative or hard. Sometimes I can do it and sometimes I can't but I try and also accept my feelings. Those who cause us problems are actually kind teachers. I know this sounds strange but if you check it out you'll see how much you have learned from this situation. So then you can be happy to see what you will learn from the next storm. Your growing and becoming a better person! Yes that's what we all need to do. :) thanks for sharing this.

  54. I have said it before and I will say it again. I do not follow your blog to hear just the good. I follow you because you are real and tell how you feel and let me get to know you that way. Fair weather friends suck! They are there to celebrate but when the chips are down it is like "poof" or worse they tell you how to fix it. You are right you are the one who can fix it and you are responsible for that but you also need support and sounding boards to get there. I pledge to be a sounding board you need whenever!!

  55. It's hard not to take into consideration what other's think or say of our actions, etc. but I commend you for posting this article - it's great! Hang in there Lori. I wish you much success in the coming new year. Hugs to you!! ~Shel~

  56. Oh Honey, you just do what you want to do! If someone doesn't like what you blog, then they don't have to read it. Folks seem to have forgotten how to use manners these days. My mama always said if you ain't got nothing good to say, then keep your damn mouth shut, well she was nicer than that!

    I love reading your blog and I enjoy what you share.

    Here's to many more posts and pretty jewels....."raising my coffee cup" (it's only 9:15 am)!!!!

  57. I think we are somewhat on the same page. My husband is passive-aggressive; I have to deal with that. Then this past weekend I did a show where people's opinion's/comments started to bother me. Nothing bad, just, oh, I make jewelry too. Look, I made a bracelet like that too.
    I'm currently struggling with the fact that too many people make jewelry. Imustbe differet tocompete.
    struggling with alot of change too. Quit my profession in vet tech work in Oct.; working part-time and trying to make a go at full time jewelry business. Not easy! I get where you're at.

  58. I believe you're on the right track here! Good for you and yes, those not accepting, respecting need not be part of your daily life or world! Great post!!

  59. If their respect was lost over what you feel like you need to say or do, then it probably wasn't worth having anyway. A true friend doesn't have to agree with you all of the time (or make you agree with them), but they should absolutely respect you all of the time.

    I had dinner with four of my bestest friends last Friday. We're all opinionated, but we care more about each other than being right or forcing each other to agree. There's serious beauty in the chaos we call dinner!

    I know it hurts; having someone reject us always hurts, even more so when we're being our true selves. But they aren't worth keeping in your life if they make you feel like crap.

    You are TOTALLY ready to break out, friend. I can feel it, too.

  60. great post, metamorphosis is life, we are always changing, we only have to be brave and make it!

  61. I totally agree with you. I want to be brave to leave a conversation or tell a person who is plain rude and aggressive to stop talking to me before the conversation degenerates. I don't like myself when I return tit for tat. There are such people in my life. I cannot completely avoid them. They will never be my friends. But whatever minimal contact I have with them, I don't want to behave and end up like them.

    I am with you. Metamorphosis is the word here.

  62. You just need to be you Lori. The people who accept you for who you are will be there for you. You can't please everybody, as I believe you're finding out. Some just don't want to be pleased... Have a happy holiday season!

  63. Lori,
    I have been reading your blog for a good while now it's one of my favorite's! I love your work and frankly just enjoy reading your blog!I am the kind of person who doesn't really give a darn about what other people think of me because I KNOW what kind of person I am and that's all that matters to me! You are a very lovely and funny lady with a wonderful talent of making other people feel good and who enjoy peeking into your world to see what kind of pretties you have created! Merry Christmas & A Happy Blessed New Year to You & Your's!! A Fan Who Doesn't Give A Damm in Cali, Respectfully Your's,
    Debra G.

  64. You're pretty darn amazing. I'm so grateful we live where we have the freedom to share what's on our minds. And that freedom also applies to what we choose to read. I happen to celebrate your posts and choose to read your Blog, appreciate what you choose to share with your readers. I'm happy there are strong woman that care to write about such personal issues. I've been inspired by you and have learned so much. I believe when others criticize us, it says more about their character than ours. Keep doing what you're doing, don't let that negativity take up space in your head!

  65. I LOVE the your words! I am shocked that anyone would think otherwise. Good for you for ridding yourself of the rubbish. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.


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