Sunday, August 31, 2014

Sabbatical, revisited

For those of you who witnessed the craziness that happened on my blog and Facebook this past week, you know that:

a) I was at wit's end, 

b) I was very depressed,

c) I got chastised epically by a few for writing what was called
 a Boo-Hoo Blog, told that I thrived on drama and attention, etc, etc, etc.  


I was unbelievably hurt, embarrassed, angry, back to hurt.  My reaction was to delete everything I wrote on Facebook (although I still have a Facebook account so I can communicate via Messenger with people and see what folks are up to) and I declared a sabbatical on both Facebook and my blog.  I don't regret deleting my Facebook posts.  But my blog -- I refused to touch it.


Today I got a lovely email from a woman who made me think about my decision.  She felt that leaving that negativity and despair up for anyone to read at any time in my life when some folks decided to call me out may not be the most healing thing for me.  That doesn't mean I'm not paying attention or absorbing your words and advice (unless you're nasty and profane about it.)


And she is quite right.


While I stand by everything I said and felt, it doesn't need to define my life.  It definitely defined my week.  But not my life.


I'm still not sure what I'll do with Facebook ... probably tread quite lightly and easily for a while. My blog, however, is my journey, and I will write what I feel.  If I end up deleting something at some point, that's on me.  All of us have said things or had things said about us that we don't want staring us in the face, right?  That doesn't mean I'm dismissing your opinion...it just goes down better when written from a place of caring and concern and not disgust.  Ya know?


To that end, I'm going to continue with my blog in some manner.  Zack will be starting school soon and of course I want to take pictures and share him with you because he's one of the big reasons I'm here.




There are also lots of things I've always planned to talk about that have nothing to do with being sick.  But readers have to understand -- being sick sucks and sometimes, I will write about it.  I know in the past from some emails and comments I've received that my "over-sharing" has helped people.  I've also gotten emails that said I should just kindly shush the heck up and get over myself.


I hope that you will stay with me.  There is a lot in life that has nothing to do with Lyme or Babesia or liver disease.  LOTS.  It is a part of my life, and it DOES affect the things I'm able to do, but I will NOT let anyone make me feel like someone I'm not.  I'm not looking for pats on the back, or attention, or anything like that.  I'm just writing.  Whatever happens when you read it just happens. You're either interested, or you're not.  I'm going to stay authentic, and authentic sometimes is marvelous.  Sometimes, it's the pits.

Thinking on the rocks of Big Sur the day before leaving the country in 1989.

I will always welcome private messages (or post a comment and say to not publish it but email you at xyz), and I always will welcome differing opinions. I've learned quite a lot in life by paying attention and listening to those who don't agree with me, and I would like to think I'm open-minded enough that, if you don't curse at me, I will listen, think about what you've said, and process it. I've changed my outlook this way at times, as I'm doing right now, writing a post when I had no intention of writing for quite a long time.


Writing is my "thing", my passion, even if I'm not always exceptional at it.  Reading and writing are more vital to me than making jewelry, even.  I'm not always going to be a marvelous writer, but I'm doing it for me, for posterity, for learning.


I hope to see you here again, because I care about you all.




Lori Anderson creates jewelry and bead kits as well as collaborative mixed media art with her son, Zack. Visit her shops by clicking on the right side bar of this blog (please and thank you!). She is also the creator of the Bead Soup Blog Party® and author of the book "Bead Soup" via Kalmbach Publishing.

34 comments:

  1. We care about you too and some of us are just hoping that even our occasional comments show you that. I'm glad you decided to keep writing.

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  2. I'm glad you're back, in whatever form & to whatever extent you're willing to share with us. Seeing those pics of you & Zach, I can't get over the likeness. He looks like a mini version of you. Such a beautiful pic of you contemplating your future. Keep thinking on that cause I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel for you. xoxo!

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  3. Lori, I hope you will continue to share your life's journey here, with us, your readers. Life isn't always easy or pretty, but sharing can help both you and others.

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  4. Excellent post.. Might I add something, as one who's been through extreme chronic pain and all that entails: please, dear readers.. if you don't like a post, please just let it go. When your pain is ripping you up, sometimes you simply HAVE to do something to get relief, and sometimes that is letting it go to other people. Please don't condemn any attempt to relieve pain, ever..

    Lori, thanks for honoring us with your trust.. and thank you for sharing, I can guarantee you that you're helping others. I hope it helps you as much if not more.

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  5. I'm so glad that you are going to continue on with your blog. You are special in your on right. ��

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  6. So Glad to see your post Lori! You have 100's who treasure you and your thoughts, I'm so sorry just a few can hurt you so badly. But as you get stronger, their comments will matter less, I hope, and we will be happy to see you more often. God bless you and yours, Marti C.

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  7. I am glad you decided to continue posting. We, as humans, can be extremely cruel and hurtful; and for those of us who care, it saddens us. Honey, you do you and let everyone else do them. In the end it is your health and happiness that matter the most. God bless.

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  8. Yay! I'm so happy that week is behind you. It always seems hopeless when it feels like that endless loop of despair just won't end. That I can relate to. Just like that pair of snazzy stonewashed jeans with the zipper at the ankle... ;) All joking aside... Here's to a better day, one at a time. Thank you for sharing your journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. hugs! <3

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  9. I'm glad you're still going to write Lori, I would miss reading your posts. Here's to a better week! XX

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  10. Maybe this will make you smile a little bit :)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz2jbCJXkpA

    Being depressed (especially due to longterm / chronic diseases) is an illness by itself. People still tend to forget this. That in the end it is on the same level like heart disease, diabetis or other metabolic illness. That is for you a struggle on so many levels...!

    *waves*
    Claire

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  11. Glad to see the change in perspective. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. <3

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  12. Yes! I'm so glad you felt like changing your mind! Looking forward to news from you!

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  13. What Cassi Renee said. You've heard me say this a thousand times too, Lori. Do what you gotta do to take care of YOU. We'll be here. We love you. Big hugs.

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  14. Wonderfully written, as always. "Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity" --Janet Louise Stepenson So glad to hear you will keep on keeping on :) Peace, Sue

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  15. I agree with everyone Lori....we are hear for you if for nothing else to read how you are doing and know that we are reading what you post. Don't let those who only negativity get to you...be like a duck and let it roll off....it isn't easy I can tell you...but know that there are 100's of us out hear routing for you! We love ya girl....keep posting!

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  16. Lori,
    I am so very glad that you will continue on posting to YOUR blog, and not letting people with no compassion or empathy ruin your love for writing and sharing with us. When I hear or read the awful things people say and do to each other it makes me lose a little faith.
    My young son and i were having a chat yesterday and he asked me why there are so many terrible people in the world? And that if he could isolate himself from them he would.
    I sat there for a minute not knowing what to say then the words just starting pouring out. "If you lock yourself away how will anyone in the world see that, goodness,kindness,honesty and caring still exist? You have to show them that there are still awesome people in the world!!
    He thought for a moment,smiled and said "your right Mom, you always know the right thing to say."
    The only reason I am sharing this is that if you let people make you want to lock yourself away, then how will the world see your goodness, so that it can be a better place?

    ~Maria Rosa

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  17. No one knows your physical or mental pain so they just need to shut the hell up or jump off a cliff. Your blog is just that "it's yours". It is my choice to read or not. Sharing your innermost feelings takes guts and you have more than most. So please keep writing what you feel. In this day of technology you just gotta love the old delete button, but they haven't perfected one for our heart & mind. I will ask my friends to say a prayer for your recovery

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  18. I am glad to hear from you on your blog again. Seems to me that it has helped already - me and others.

    I admire you.

    blessings,
    Lyn

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  19. I am sooooo glad to see you back!!!! It's your blog, it's your story and thank you for sharing....

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  20. Just keep it real Lori, it's what most of your readers expect from you. For the rest, well, they can go away.

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  21. I am overjoyed that you are going to continue blogging. Your posts always make me think and sometimes make me laugh. Writing can be healing and you are very good at it. Thanx

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  22. Lori, I'm so glad to see you back on your blog!! Hooray.
    Big big hugs

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  23. Hi Lori! I have just a couple of things to say. !. I am SOOOOO GLAD you will continue to write. i love reading your blog! @. I was reminded earlier this week to tell the most important people in my life that they are just that. The most important people in my life! So...Lori McDaniel Anderson, you are one of the most important people in my life. You have taught me the meaning of humility, and grace and courage, genuine caring. You have expanded my horizons to an amazing extent. I now have friends all over the world thanks to you. I have learned and grown and matured listening to you and reading your blog!!! So Thank you from the Bottom of my heart!!!

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  24. So so happy that you blogging, I love reading your posts both the happy and the sad, It is how I have come to love you like a dear dear friend!

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  25. Wonderful! I am looking forward to your upcoming posts - about anything.

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  26. I told you, you're the strongest, most inspirational person I know. Don't ever apologize for being you. You're pretty, special, amazing, and the best friend ever. True story! 💜

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  27. Oh Lori
    People are so nasty, it's who they are, I think it must make them feel better, those that know they do it, and there are those that should know better, having pain, coping with illness or more pain, is our lives, we have to work around, it's exhausting.
    I was on a facebook group, one you were on, I couldn't find anyone to talk to there and it was for our kind of people. (yes I sent you a letter but didn't even want you to read it as, you had enough on your plate) you weren't the only one I sent it to though and they didn't reply, I think you did last week, I'm so sorry now that I didn't reply to you, a bad week!
    Our lives are scary I'd like others to see how they'd cope.
    I could say ignore them but I didn't and that was why I ended my membership, it was even a closed group. I know how hard it is to ignore people you see we are already under fire by our own bodies, we don't need thoughtless people, I don't understand how that have no compassion or empathy sadly though they just make bad times worse, and some of us are alone.
    I am so glad you are keeping your blog, those of us that want to, can read you and those idiots can stay off!
    You HAVE helped so many, and those of us will still be here what a lovely place it will be, without negativity.

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  28. It's SO good to see you back, Lori. I'm glad that you're not letting the naysayers affect what you write.

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  29. Authenticity is of higher value than entertainment. We are here because we want to be here with you. <3

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  30. Welcome Back! Open arms

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  31. I am so glad you are blogging again. We all have our struggles and your posts give me inspiration in the midst of my physical struggles and you have always been an inspiration to me. Don't let others get you down. You never know who you might reach to give hope and persistence when they are down.

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  32. I very much agree with Lori Bowring Michaud's post:
    "Just keep it real Lori, it's what most of your readers expect from you. For the rest, well, they can go away."

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  33. Anonymous9:27 PM

    I'm glad you decided to keep posting! You write what you want and ignore the nitpickers!!
    Be well and enjoy!

    Diana from Chicago

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