Sunday, February 17, 2013

Love and Light Blog Hop :: A Tribute to Tanya

About four years ago, I was hit with a three-month long migraine.  Three months, no let-up.  I saw doctors, was given all sorts of migraine medications that did nothing, and finally was sent to a neurologist who told me I had pseudotumor cerebri, also known as idiopathic intracranial hypertension.  Trying to find a support group for dealing with it, I met Tanya Boden on Facebook. 


She had the same situation, but far worse.  She was living in Thailand when I knew her, and having been hospitalized in a foreign country before, I knew she wasn't having a good time of it.  Photos of her miserable in the hospital when surgery after surgery couldn't successfully place a shunt made me hurt for her. 


There are many "ribbon causes", so I looked up IIH and found the awareness colors for our shared malady are dark blue and dark green.  I made up some bracelets and they sold.  Through a mutual friend, I found out she really loved one in particular, so I made it for her and shipped it off as a surprise.




Unfortunately, Tanya fell ill with one more thing, and then another, and in early January, she passed away.  Far too quickly, and far too soon. 


Before she died, certain events led to she and I having some long heart-to-heart email conversations about our friendship.  I've sat staring at this screen trying to figure out how to put into words all the things that led to those conversations, but it doesn't matter anymore, does it?  I am just so glad we were able to reconnect, and knowing those last emails were good ones with friendship intact gives me some small peace.





You never know when something will happen, and this has taught me a valuable life lesson.  It takes two to make a friendship, and it takes two to keep a friendship.  It's hard to admit to hurting a friend -- for not having the courage to stand up for her better.  I won't make that mistake again.


I miss my friend.




More who are sharing their memories:

Host: Alicia Marinache All Pretty Things

Solange Colling Ahowin Handcrafted Jewelry
Liss Silverwing http://lisssilverwing.blogspot.com/
Cherry Obsidia http://cherryobsidia.blogspot.co.uk/
Pookledo www.pookledo.blogspot.co.uk
Rana Lea http://ranaleadesigns.blogspot.com/
Leah Curtis http://beadyeyedbunny.blogspot.co.uk/
Ingrid www.wrappedinsilver.com



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Lori Anderson creates jewelry and bead kits as well as collaborative mixed media art with her son, Zack.  Visit her shops by clicking here.  She is also the creator of the Bead Soup Blog Party®   and author of the book Bead Soup.




18 comments:

steufel said...

Oh Lori. so sorry to hear about that.

RanaLea said...

Well said. I miss her too, so much. This is going to be a tough hop to get through. :( The bracelet is beautiful.

Ginger Bishop said...

I miss her too. She's one of those that it was a joy to chat with. I looked forward to her messages, and miss them so.

Alicia said...

I am not sure if my first comment got through - if it did, please feel free to delete this one :)

Lori, we all miss her - I am glad you had the chance to reconnect with Tanya.
The bracelet is beautiful - love your wire wrapping and deep colours.
Thanks for participating - and remember: smile and take it easy.

Ahowin said...

Tanya was beautiful Soul,Generous persons and great Spirit. I miss her so much.A beautiful Tribute. " Love and Hugs"

Cherry Obsidia said...

Tanya is definitely one of those rare people who left ripples wherever she trod. I am happy you found your peace with her, and glad you joined in our hop...x

Createology said...

Lori I am truly sorry you have lost your friend. Healing Hugs Dear...

MonaRAEbeads.com said...

Lori, I'm so sorry for your loss. ((((( ))))))

MoonRae said...

Thanks to all of you for this beautiful hop.....3 yrs ago today my mother passed and I miss her, really badly....how selfish of me to think I'm the only one missing someone special... you're all so beautiful for sharing
I love you

Sharon

Kayla @ TheEclecticElement said...

I met Tanya through the Bead Soup Facebook group and we quickly became fast friends.

I remember it was after the 6th Bead Soup Blog Party because I wanted to sell the 3 pieces I made for that party to raise money for her treatments-I regret not doing that sooner.

While we didn't correspond a LOT, I did feel quite connected to her. I had NO idea she had passed away in January and I'm honestly on the verge of tears right now.

What she went through wasn't fair and we all lost a beautiful, kind and generous soul way too soon.

Ingrid said...

Me too Lori. I think I remember that bracelet!

Leah Curtis said...

Beautiful bracelet, Lori. Tanya always loved 'doing', giving, and involving others. She convinced me to make my hair pink for you! Thank you for sharing,

13 said...

It speaks volumes about your friendship and respect for Tanya, that you took the time to create this tribute for her and arrange this memorial blog hop too.

Barb Fernald said...

I did not know Tanya, but I am sorry for the loss of your friend. What a nice memorial for her.

Pookledo said...

A beautiful piece. x

Kathleen Douglas said...

I so enjoy reading your posts, "you get right down to the heart of the matter", to steal a line from Don Henley. If there is an up side to chronic illness/pain is you learn how tenuous our grasp on this life is. (Mostly being sick just sucks, so you gotta go with the few good things.)

So at the risk of sounding like a greeting card, tell your friends how much you value, respect, love them now. Make that special piece of jewelry for them now, you don't know if there will have another chance.









Kathleen Douglas said...

I so enjoy reading your posts, "you get right down to the heart of the matter", to steal a line from Don Henley. If there is an up side to chronic illness/pain is you learn how tenuous our grasp on this life is. (Mostly being sick just sucks, so you gotta go with the few good things.)

So at the risk of sounding like a greeting card, tell your friends how much you value, respect, love them now. Make that special piece of jewelry for them now, you don't know if there will have another chance.









Toltec Jewels for Jewel School Friends said...

You didn't not have courage, Lori. Loving someone and fixing things aren't the same thing, and while we can love unconditionally we can't always fix things for those we love. I'm learning that from my Christina.

Just two weeks after my friend & daughter died, you visited my blog and wrote "you're in my heart" -- months later, I still carry your words with me & they give me courage.

You love fearlessly. Imagine all the joy and freedom your friend has now in death, and all the love she carries with her now.

You're in my heart.