.I come to you live from the depths of my bed.
I know some of you roll your eyes at my posts about feeling lousy but if you'll give me the benefit of the doubt and keep reading, you might be surprised.
I don't know what's wrong, but I'm weak as a newborn kitten. To say it's been aggravating is to put it mildly. For the first time in my career as a jewelry artist, I had to cancel a huge show this weekend. Huge in that it pays about half of Zack's tuition, so you know the decision my husband and I made didn't come lightly.
Lying here moping is not what I like to do. I may be a homebody, preferring playing games with Zack and Rick or making jewelry or writing or just luxuriating in the fact that for a while, the dust can stay on the shelves for a while longer. But moping is for the birds.
And then I thought, this change in my life, whatever it may bring, isn't necessarily a bad thing. It takes an enormous leap of faith to believe that, to truly believe it, but why not? The alternative sucks.
That's a picture of Zack in 2007. He overcame his fear of heights to jump -- and boy did he ever jump. He landed in a full-scale belly flop, so massively awesome a belly flop that all the lifeguards jumped in the water, expecting Zack to emerge either crying, in pain, or both.
What happened is he came up laughing. And wanting to do it again.
I strive to be like Zack -- willing to take the plunge, and come up laughing as often as I can.
I've shared that I've not been particularly happy churning out "Lori Jewelry" and instead have wanted to explore to the very boundaries of my skill -- boundaries I can't see yet. Maybe having to cancel this show is the first step -- not something to be upset about, but the first step to change.
|Zack, Christmas 2007|
Building a new business model, changing directions, exploring with no preconceived notion of what I'm doing or where it's going, should be fun. Like Zack with his Tinker Toys, sometimes things fall down go boom. Sometimes I'll burn up things or have molten glass plop off a mandrel to lie mocking me on the table. And sometimes I'll turn out something that makes me go, "WOW. I didn't know I could DO that".
I'll be at my next show with the same promoters this fall. I hope my customers will like the new things they'll see. I hope that as I grow, as I learn to accept the days in bed and treasure the days I'm not, life will be more fulfilling.
So hey, I'm sorry I've been moping and sick. Can't help that. But don't think for a SECOND that while I'm lying here, I'm not planning. Even propped against pillows, I'm a multitasker. Anyone who truly knows me, knows that!
Will you jump off the high board?