Friday, February 10, 2012

A Post Script to Yesterday's Post



About yesterday's post -- I've been asked, "Who was that about?"

It was about me.  Not anyone in particular.


If I offended anyone, that was not the intention whatsoever.  I hope you'll stay a reader.  I hope you'll forgive my need to vent because here is where I'm me.  


I've had that post written in my queue for a long, long time.  After I picked my word for the year as "metamorphosis", I decided I needed to free a lot of things, like a butterfly frees itself from a chrysalis.


It's about being a kid and not being smart enough to know you're the butt of jokes.  It's about being in the Air Force and not being taken seriously because of this or that, but a lot because "you're a girl".  It's about family abandonment.  It's about my holding hurt and thinking it's always, always, my fault.  It's about expectations not being met.  It's about learning who your friends are, and that they aren't always next door.


It's about thinking that not a lot has changed, but needs to.


But this wasn't a not-so-silent letter to anyone -- believe me, I am capable, and have, written things to people in the past.  Some I've believed staunchly in.  Some I've come around to realize I was wrong.  Saying out here, on my blog, that I've harbored anger and jealousy, by the way, was hard.  But necessary.


For me.  For making changes.




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Lori Anderson creates jewelry for her web site, Lori Anderson Designs, and wrote the blog An Artist's Year Off.  She is the creator of the Bead Soup Blog Party.

25 comments:

  1. Thank you for being open and honest with us. I'm betting every one that read your post yesterday could relate in some way.

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  2. U go Grrl! Purge, grow & metamorphosis into what u r to be! TY for ur raw honesty & openness!
    Shanti

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  3. Lori, you should not feel the need to apologize for expressing yourself on your blog. I took your post at face value. You needed to vent and friends let friends vent without judgement. In some cases, that even means without advice; just being there to listen and let you work things out by saying it out loud.

    I am guilty of letting the pain and hurt build, of thinking that it is my fault.

    I grew up being told that I was not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, pretty enough. After being told that enough times, no matter who you are, you will believe that it is the truth.

    I would do almost anything that was asked of me just to get the approval that I craved. It took me a long time to realize that people took advantage of this quality in me. It took me a long time to learn that I could say No.

    Being honest, especially with friends, is a given. My best friend and I have been through 11 years of ups and downs, but through all of it we have been honest with each other. Honesty may hurt no matter who does the talking, but a friend will be there to hold you while you cry it out, bring you chunky monkey, and find you pretty beads.

    I can only speak for myself, but I am here as a friend, to let you vent, to be your shoulder, to listen. ~ Much Love, Shell

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  4. I particularly like the last quote in yeterday's post - here's to RECOGNIZING that beautiful person, that's where real growth comes from. You are beautiful Lori, and it's not just the pink hair, it's the inside! ;) ~~T

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  5. i'm still here...we are all so perfectly flawed

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  6. hi Lori,
    I haven't seen the post yet., But I will go back to read it. This is your blog chica, I get so upset when people comment that maybe you shouldn't say this or that. Blogging or Facebook...hello...it is my blog. Thank said, I say good for you, for knowing YOUR heart. I am working on that too;)
    As for this proverb, awesome! xo

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  7. I have found that is the hard thing about FB and blogger and public posting places like this. People forget that this is "our space", ABOUT US, that we share WITH YOU" who choose to follow. They need to remember it is like a diary, just online.....OUR THOUGHTS. Not like the BBB here to rate, rant about everyone else. For the vast majority anyways. Eh...it seems to be more generational also...No more good ol' fist fights, just digital bullying...NO COMMUNICATION in this world of communication! (Wow, okay, guess this struck a nerve..lol)

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  8. I have been sort of absent from the blog world a bit, so I guess I missed hearing about your health, but just wanted to say hi, and give you a cyber hug! Hang in there!

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  9. Don't ever worry about what others think, it came from your heart & that's what counts. I thought it was a great way to vent. I'm sure there are alot of people who would like to vent also, but are afraid to.

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  10. Don't ever worry about what others think, it came from your heart & that's what counts. I thought it was a great way to vent. I'm sure there are alot of people who would like to vent also, but are afraid to.

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  11. Don't ever worry about what others think, it came from your heart & that's what counts. I thought it was a great way to vent. I'm sure there are alot of people who would like to vent also, but are afraid to.

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  12. I think it is important to be honest with each other and most importantly ourselves. I applaud you for your metamorphosis and wish you all the best in your journey.

    As for being offended...I look at it this way it is your blog and your thoughts. I choose to read it because you are who you are and some days we need to vent. As fellow bloggers I think we need to be supportive to each other on happy upbeat days and on venting days.

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  13. I love ya, gal! Take care of yourself.

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  14. Lori, I read your post yesterday, several times in fact, and I could tell exactly what your reason for writing it was. Any of us could have written that post (if we had the gift for writing that you have) but what I'm talking about here is in theory we could have, or should have, written that. It was a wonderful introspective. I have thought about it since I read it, and now as I read your post today, I can only say this......

    You need to worry less about offending others and just concentrate on being true to yourself.

    If others don't "get it" then phooey on them.

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  15. I hope you are feeling better Lori! Good for you in saying what you feel. I think sometimes a lot of us (me included) always try to keep negative things inside, and it ends up just boiling away and hurting us.
    Have a good weekend.

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  16. You go, girl. I admire you for who you are, immensely. It is awfully difficult to change ourselves - even if it is for our own good - but I'm cheering for you.

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  17. I thought it was a good post..haven't a lot of us felt like that, from time to time.

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  18. Good for you. I might be doing a similar post soon, thanks to your inspiration. I have had so many issues with false friends this past year -- and some with true friends who are not who I thought they were, after all. It's been a terrible experience, and one that at 47 years of age I didn't think I should have to be going through. So I totally and completely understand where you are coming from! I sure hope you feel better soon, Lori. Also: if you need someone to review your book and post about it, send me a review copy. I just contributed to a book called Etsy 101 and it was such a great experience. I'm excited for you about your book!

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  19. I continue to be amazed and inspired by your courage and your honesty. You are wonderful.

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  20. please don't apologize for having the bravery to speak your pain. if you offended someone with your honesty, that's their problem, not yours. if you're hurting, you need to express it. i think that's healthy. much better than letting it fester and grow and spawn in the dark. that is a dangerous road to travel alone, and you're always alone on that particular road. here, in the light, you are surrounded by friends who love you and support you and want you to prosper and thrive. i am one of those fans who is rooting for you, in total awe of your honesty, your bravery, your wisdom, and your talents. you inspire me. and i just love you for that.

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  21. I love your blog. I admire how open you are. I want to be that, but I haven't really allowed myself that freedom yet.

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  22. on a given day I could stop by your blog and be so touched...I love it...thanks for sharing...I hear you sister friend...
    Jelveh
    Peace

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  23. I used to have a similar version of this saying on my fridge, and I always told my husband how true it was, that just when he wanted to steer way clear of me, that's when i needed him to just come closest and hold me tight. It made everything all better :)

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  24. I think it was a great post. Well written, from the heart and it doesn't matter if others liked or didn't like it - it was, as you said, for you. That's good for one's soul.

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  25. A few weeks ago I spent a morning helping a friend set up his first blog. He's very into cooking but has a number of different areas of interest from researching medieval recipies to modern gastronomy. And over and over he asked "shouldn't I have a separate blog for each of these?"

    My repeated response was "No, they are all you."

    And its true. In the blogs I follow, the person behind the posts is what's truly important. You share yourself with us all, the good and the bad of living, so very freely and I thank you for that!

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I appreciate comments! <3

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