Yesterday was my LONG awaited appointment at Johns Hopkins Bayview Headache Center, a division of their Neurology Department. If you've been a reader of my blog for a while, you know I've been waiting for this appointment since this summer, but the soonest they could see me was, well, yesterday.
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Johns Hopkins, Bayview Campus |
I got up at 6am so I could get to Baltimore, MD by 8:30. And I do not DO 6am happily, leaping out of bed with sunshine and roses in my heart. More like a poked-with-a-stick bear with eyes still shut and one heck of a grumpy streak. My dear husband did a quick Starbucks run, filled up my van, and had me ready to go before I was out of the shower. What would I do without him? Probably sleep late, (mmmmmsnoreszxx) but no really, he's awesome!
It had snowed the day before, but the roads were clear. I plugged the address into the GPS, threw a CD in the player, and off I went, hopeful and glad the six month wait was over.
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Yeah, no, that's not mine. It's a German-made Messerschmitt. Thought it was more interesting than my van. From www.life.com |
Now, I love having a GPS. And I am familiar with a lot of local cities -- Washington DC doesn't really phase me much, and parts of Baltimore are no longer difficult. But Johns Hopkins is in a corner of Baltimore I just don't know. No worries. Remember, I have a GPS.
Here comes the Fort McHenry Tunnel, so I know I'm almost there. Factoid -- I'm claustrophobic and particularly hate tunnels. Probably due to having to sit for two hours inside the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel as a young child on the way to the beach, smelling nauseating gas fumes, and listening to my dad THINK he was being HI-larious say, "OH, kids, see the water dripping down the walls? Think she'll hold?"
Thankfully, we didn't go on vacation much.
I've been to the Bayview Campus exactly once but remembered a tricky turn. Feeling smug, I looked at the GPS and made the turn.
Back onto the interstate.
CRAP!
Not only was I heading BACK down the highway in rush hour traffic, but I had to listen to that annoying, self-satisfied GPS woman say, "Recalculating" like I was the dumbest person to sit in a car. I'd missed the CORRECT turn by about, oh, 40 feet.
So now I have to drive to the next exit, make a U-turn, and hit the correct exit this time. Easy.
You can bet I paid attention and made the U-turn. I expected Miss Snide-McSmarty-Pants GPS Lady to take me on surface roads now, but no, I took my Stupid Pills this morning. There's this thing called....
The Harbor. With a TUNNEL.
(Face:Palm) (Head:Slap) (Expletive:Deleted)
After three trips and $6 in tolls, I finally made it to the right road, only to miss another neighborhood road -- but at this point, I could see the hospital on the hill and turned the GPS off just as Mrs. Getting-on-my-Nerves was saying "Recalculating".
That felt gooooood.
Until I remembered I had to go BACK through the tunnel on the way home.
Driving home was directionally just fine. But I must have peeved off Miss GPS because she knows Mr Burly Weather Man because he made it snow the entire way home. She holds a grudge like that.
I don't know what it is about me and directions. On both of my trips to NYC with my husband, we traversed the city entirely by subway. We'd get off at some underground station and he'd just say, "This way", knowing which way to go, without looking at a sign. Me, I'm the sort that would say, "Turn left at the gas station, then you know that cute pink house? Turn left there." But Miss GPS would snort at that. If she had time, that is, between saying, "ReCALculating", and "Turn left -- (sigh) reCALculating".
"But now at least I'll know how to get to the Bayview Campus", I thought.
Haha. Miss GPS laughs.
The rest of the appointments are at Johns Hopkins main campus, all the way on the other side of Baltimore.
Oh well. At least I don't think I have to go through the tunnels four times in one day!
Lori Anderson creates jewelry for her web site, Lori Anderson Designs, and wrote the blog An Artist's Year Off. She's also a contributor to Art Bead Scene.