A while back I found a picture on the internet of this lovely young woman with the prettiest cotton-candy pink hair. She had flawless ivory skin, was completely stunning, and I wanted that look.
I thought to myself, "if I can *ever* can get rid of this weight, I'll dye my hair pink."
I've had a love-hate relationship with my weight all my life. I've been everything from very petite to, well, a hundred-and-plenty. And as I'm nearing 42, take medicines that stall metabolism, have genetics against me, and find it hard to work out with a searing headache -- yeah, I'll probably be a hundred-and-plenty for the rest of my damned life.
Enter today. I have my standard hair appointment and I'm in a lousy mood. My head hurts. It always hurts. I'm tired of whining about it hurting. I'm fat. I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of WHINING about being fat.
(You see a theme here?)
So I walk in, plop into the chair, and say to my lovely friend Noelle -- "Whatcha got in pink?"
At this point, several other stylists poked their heads around the corner. It's not often you see a nearly 42-year old woman in yoga pants walk in and ask for pink hair. But you know what?
EVERYONE was excited. NO ONE questioned my "cool" factor. Or my sanity.
"You're an artist!" said one. "You can rock this!"
"Well, I'm not sure I can pull this off but I'm going to do it", I muttered. "Can you just do a little bit at the bottom of my hair?"
"Oh stop it," said another. He made me promise to stop by for a free makeover after I was done. "Everyone is pretty, they just don't always know it."
I had plenty of time to think about what I had done while the long process went on. Why was I DOING this? I'm NOT a skinny rockin' chick. I'm NOT really an artist (but I do play one on the internet). And what in heaven's name was I going to do when I walked into that private school this afternoon??????
You know why I did it?
Because life's too short to wish for things we can actually do.
Pain is totally and completely out of control right now. It's out of my hands and probably always and forever will be. I face a lifetime of it. Migraines in my eyes forever? No meds for it? I have to spend an inordinate amount of time in bed?
At least I'll be in bed with rockin' pink hair.
Take THAT, pain. I can't take you seriously with this hair cut.