The healing process has been hard. My other cat, Max, will disappear the entire day, only to resurface at night to sleep with me. The sleeping-with-me bit is wonderful, but Buddy was a constant. He was loyal and kept by my side and in the same room I'd be in all day, even if he was snoozing. He must have had kitty radar that way.
The other day I went into PetSmart. I wanted to see the cats they had for adoption, although I knew without a doubt that I was. not. ready. for another cat.
First I spent an inordinate amount of time examining the turtles. My son and I actually do love water turtles. Then I worked up to the birds. I love wrens. Then I moved to the hamsters.
Finally, I slowly made it to the Adoption Station, run by the Talbot Humane Society. A woman was volunteering at the time, and all the cats on display at the time were kittens. And I felt...
Nothing. I missed my own cat too much.
I chatted with the volunteer, relating why I was there, working up my courage to not cry at the sight of another cat. She suggested I volunteer as a way to ease my way into things.
What a brilliant idea.
So I'm proud to say I am going to orientation at the Humane Society on September 4th. I've asked for the Kitty Cuddle and other Shelter functions. I'm not good at fund-raising, other than handing over jewelry -- I don't do well on the phone. But I hope this will bring some sort of peace. And you never know. Rick and I decided that we would adopt an adult cat, not a kitten, so maybe that cat will make him or herself known over time.
And maybe I can do some good.
Lori Anderson makes jewelry for Lori Anderson Designs and also writes for the blog An Artist's Year Off. She loves cats.