So many of you have treated me well, with kind words, with things I love, and be assured I keep every card I get.
I'm really sorry if the post was taken as a ticket to the longest guilt trip ever. I am just very sad and was venting.
I have no immediate family that visits (or in some cases, doesn't even talk to me). I haven't seen or heard from my sister, two step brothers, or father in years to twenty+ years. I love Rick's family, but I don't see them as often as I'd like due to distance. And in town, I have (I think) three friends, but they're just too busy and I should suck it up. Ditto for a couple friends two hours away. One said "we have nothing in common anymore" and blocked me from anything she could and told me not to write again. I'm respecting that no matter how much it hurts over the years and how confused I am that a person can be so close I considered her family could wash her hands of me.
Or maybe I can.
The others are fighting their own physical battles, so we're not supposed to be around each other (immune system, etc). And I'm socially awkward in person, which means making face-to-face friends is difficult.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. The good part is I care and love easily. The hard part is I care and love easily.
Thank you all for the kind words and the sweet things in the mail. It's appreciated, but I never wanted to force anyone or to alienate anyone. I know none of our lives are perfect. I absolutely did not mean to make you upset with my whining. So...
Hug your loved ones...
for real, or virtually.